Teaching Choice & Accountability

I want to preface this to first say that I do not see myself as an expert of parenting by any means ;o) I'm humbled by the inevitable fact that I still have a lot to learn as my kids grow older. These are some things Tyler & I have been implementing lately & we have felt successful with teaching Preston... Most of the time!

Preston is at that stage in life where we can either make or break him b/c he's so incredibly impressionable. He takes things so literally and internalizes everything so Tyler & I find ourselves being very careful with the things we say & what he watches on tv. He's VERY sensitive ;o) Not that that's a bad thing! He's so precious & special & I think this trait is important to have in a world that can be very damaging.

For example, Preston can't stand getting dirty but we're trying to teach him that sometimes our clothes get messy or a little wet & it's no big deal! He will cry & cry & beg for a clean shirt. You would think the world was ending. He's a little dramatic right now, but it's a phase & he's just learning & figuring out life. The upside to all of his sensitivity is that he really wants to do the right thing or as we say in our home, "make good choices".

I learned a method of teaching choice & accountability from my sister Kiimberly & it's something that Tyler & I both use with Preston. Whenever Preston is having a hard day and does something "bad" we will say, "Preston, you're a good boy but you're making bad choices". We never tell him he's a bad boy, rather we Remind him to make good choices. The point is that he gets to choose & then he will either be happy or sad by the outcome of his choice. Every choice has it's consequence, good or bad. He's caught on to that really well. This has been very effective for Preston & this form of positive discipline allows Preston to determine on his own wheather his choices are good or bad. But just like every child, he sometimes has a hard time making good choices on his own. The following quote can come in handy for us parents when dealing with bad behavior:

"Don't skold, punish, or chastise your child but Remind Them of Who They Are, rather than who thay are not". -I can't remember who said this but I wrote it down & refer to it often.


I love this advice. It goes right along with the advice my sister gave me about choices & reminding your child that they are good. When put to practice this can be very effective.

Another thing... Lately Preston has been having bad dreams & will come into our room crying. I beleive tv plays a big part in this & I wish we could get rid of our tv all together! What happens in the day, we process at night while we sleep. What a child listens to 40 minutes before bed is processed in the heart & mind for the next 8 hours. To prevent nightmares we do "nightime nurturing" in our home, which is basically a nightly routine of music (involving both parents), meditation (prayer), & essential oil massage. My kids love their essential oils. Preston laughs everytime we rub them on him but he loves it & Caroline just lays there as though she is a queen being pampered & lets us massage her feet, neck & back ;o) The oils have been very effective & when we do this routine, Preston doesn't have bad dreams. I'll admit we don't do this every single night, but we try.

I remember what it was like to be little. And I still remember my childhood nightmares. They can be traumatizing b/c a child has a hard time distinguishing what is real & what isn't. I'm grateful to have sensitive children. They help to keep our home pure & clean from the filth that is in the world. I want to preserve their innocense as long as possible.